There’s nothing quite like landing a well-timed hiking joke while out hiking with some friends! That’s why we’ve come up with the best list of hiking jokes and hiking puns for you to share with others.
Scan through the list of jokes below and find yourself smiling and laughing just like I did when I heard them. Keep reading to find your favorite jokes type including hiking puns, knock-knock jokes, one-liners, and dirty hiking jokes!
Enjoy!
One-Liner Hiking Jokes
- When going to the bathroom in the woods, you’re going to go use the facilitrees.
- If someone asks for my plans for today’s hike, I’ll summit up nicely.
- When you are sitting on a rock, you know a lot of people take these things for granite.
- No need to worry about the volcano – it’s not very active.
- Getting to the top of the hill was fun but it was all downhill from there.
- When he said he was an experienced trail runner, I didn’t realize he meant he trailed behind everyone else.
- We were determined to carry on our hike around the lake, come hill or high water.
- I made a hiking playlist with music from The Cranberries, Peanuts, and Eminem…it’s my Trail Mix.
- The difference between hill and hell is just a fine line.
- Mountains aren’t just funny, they’re hill areas.
- These mountain jokes give me a Rushmore than others.
- Wood you believe that I’m actually on a hike right now?
- I don’t get it, the trail looked so flat on the map.
- Why do you bring someone is worse shape than you hiking? In case the bears show up !
Related: 17 Hiking Pick Up Lines That Work
Hiking Puns
- Did you hear the one about the hill?
- Never could get over it.
- What kind of jacket do you wear on a hike?
- A trail blazer!
- How do crazy hikers get out of the forest?
- They take the psychopath.
- How much further?
- Oh, it’s just about another mile, mile and a half.
- When hiking along a reservoir a fish ran into a wall.
- Oh dam!
- See that rock over there?
- Want to go behind it and get a little boulder?
- What do zombies eat while on a hike?
- Entrail mix.
- What did the quarterback say to the Scout?
- “Hike!”
- I went on a hike yesterday…
- It peaked for the most part, but started to go downhill from there.
- To stay safe around bears, always carry a pocket knife and bring a friend.
- If the bear attacks, stab your friend in the leg and run!!
- Wow! I didn’t know that you had six toes?
- Nah, that’s just a blister!
- What do you do when it rains?
- I get wet.
Longer Hiking Jokes
3 Blondes
3 blondes are hiking when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, “These are deer tracks,” the other says, “I think they’re moose tracks”. The third one says, “You’re both wrong, these are elk tracks.”
They were still arguing about it when the train hit them.
Walking
Before criticizing another person, it is wise to walk a mile in his shoes.
If he doesn’t like the criticism, you’re a mile away and wearing his shoes!
A Bear & Rabbit
A bear and a rabbit are walking in the Forest. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks him, “Do you have a problem with crap getting stuck to your fur?”.
The rabbit thinks for a moment…”No, I don’t”.
So the bear picks him up and wipes his butt with him!
Two Hikers & A Bear
Two hikers encountered a big black bear. The hikers became afraid and begun to run. The bear gave chase.
One of the hikers said to the other hiker as they both were sprinting away, “Do you think we can actually outrun this bear?”
The other hiker said while panting, “I’m not sure. I just have to outrun you.”
If You See Bigfoot…
Once there was a group of hikers traveling through the deep woods in the Pacific Northwest. The group leader gave the hikers a very stern warning: “If, by any chance, you see Bigfoot, run. But whatever you do, don’t touch Bigfoot!”
That night, after the group had set up camp, one hiker was in his tent, when Bigfoot appeared. The huge creature stood in the doorway of the tent.
The hiker was so scared, he ran screaming out of the tent, but on his way, he touched Bigfoot. Bigfoot ran after him. The guy ran as fast as he could through the dark forest, Bigfoot was in hot pursuit.
He made it back to the trailhead, jumped in his car and sped home. A few days later, Bigfoot showed up at his back door.
Panicked, the guy starts running as fast as he can, Bigfoot right behind. Finally, exhausted, he trips and falls. Bigfoot catches up to him, plants his huge feet right next to him.
Shaking, the guy gets to his feet and shouts, “What do you want?!”
Bigfoot reaches out to him and says, “Tag, you’re it.”
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hike.
Hike who?
Warm midnight falling.
Stars shining, dancing brightly.
Peaceful all at once
